The Last Time I Went To Hooters

I’m not much of a Hooters guy. It isn’t really my scene, but I will always say yes if someone asks me to go grab a drink. I don’t care where it is sign me up. One night a guy from work wanted to just do it and we asked if I wanted to meet for drinks at Hooters? I was all for it, “Hell yeah I’ll be there.”

We met outside in the parking lot, talking for a second while he finished the last few drags from his cigarette. He began telling me that his girlfriend was working that night so we could get some free drinks. It was a perfect night, free drinks, the Celtics were on against the Bucks, life was perfect. His girlfriend (this is the first time I met her) was with the hostess waiting for us as we walked in. We met then she took us to our seats and hung out with us for a little. It didn’t seem like anyone cared she wasn’t working either. As you can assume most of the people were caught up in the sights to care about any poor service, they didn’t mind being their longer. She scurried off to go make us some mixies and while she was gone, my buddy somehow made the night sound even better.

“My girlfriend showed a picture of you to one of her friends that’s working tonight. She thinks you’re hot man. Go get it kid.” His excitement was contagious and I started glowing too. I don’t care who or what the person looks like, being called hot is fucking awesome. While I was cheesing like a little kid, face still blushing from the compliment, his girlfriend came over with the other girl. Now they both were sitting down with us at the table. His girlfriend sat next to him and her friend squeezed into my side of the booth. As we got to talking it turned out we had a lot in common with this girl. She loved smoking, she loved drinking, she loved being up until the sun came up just like me, but the only distinguishable difference was that she loved her Addies. I for one never got into that game. She wanted to hangout with me when she got off of work and it was looking like it was going to be the first time I was going to pop my cherry.

They went back to work and we continued on slugging back drinks and sharing laughs at our table. We got there rather late and I didn’t realize they closed before the game finished. We took that time while the girls were cleaning up some of their tables to run to the store for a pack of cigarettes and come back to hangout with them. We waited until we got back to spark them up and enjoyed the beautiful, brisk, winter night in Saugus, Ma.

While we’re standing there we see one of the bartenders walking out towards her car to leave just as this truck was pulling in. They were closed so we stood there waiting to see what this guy was doing. He proceeds to park his car right in front of the door. Claiming the best spot in the parking lot since everyones already pretty much left. He continued to get out of his car and as he was crossing the lot to go inside, the bartender came flying around the corner of the parking lot and clipped him. She was driving so fast the guy actually did a full backflip before landing on his back. The only sound he made was ,”auuughhugh”

I don’t know why, it was kind of a serious scene, but I couldn’t help it, I instantly started to burst out laughing. I quickly put my hands over my mouth and did everything I could to keep my composer. Somehow my buddy managed to tame his giggling and ask the guy if he was alright. The guy miraculously got up, shaking it off like it was a bee sting, and muttered to us, “I’m fine.” and went right on inside the front door. As soon as he went inside I lost it. It wasn’t funny that he got hit by a car at all. But now that he’s fine, I mean he has to be fine he went to the bar instead of his truck or calling the police, I lost it. It all happened wicked fast but unfolded slowly in front of us. Seeing her car come whipping around the corner like she was, causing this bigger fifty year old dude to do a full 360 in the air before landing on his back was something I’ve only seen in Home Alone. To see it in real life brought me to tears and I hope that guys alright.

When we went back inside the girls said they were almost done and would meet us outside. So we went into my buddies’ ride and resorted to sitting there. Ten minutes turned into a half hour, then a half hour became an hour. As hot as this girl was, and as much fun it would have been to hangout with her, I decided to call it quits and go home. I feel like being a witness to a felony was enough flirting with the law that night, I wasn’t ready to push my luck. Seeing someone get hit by a car and shake it off like it was nothing was enough for me. It was enough entertainment that I decided to end my night but damn, I can only imagine the night I could have had.

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