I have enough clothes for a week. I have exactly eight pairs of underwear that are wearable and twelve pairs of socks with holes in them that I own, enough for a week. That even includes my back up ankle socks that I hate wearing. On top of that I only own one pair of jeans I wear every weekend, that I pair with about six different black and white v neck t shirts… that’s my entire wardrobe.

I legitimately have seven days worth of clothes. That’s why I find myself rolling out of bed every Saturday with one thing to do, if I were to do anything productive that day, was my laundry. I just spent a whole week working and using up all of my clean underwear and socks, it’d be impossible for me to go out after I shower on Saturday. All my clothes would be in the hamper. Unless I was willing to go commando in my jeans.

All of my underwear would be in the hamper, the only underwear I have left is my superhero underwear I used to as a stocking stuffer back in high school that somehow still fit me. The only socks I have left are those marijuana huff socks. None of which I feel like should leave the house wearing. The only way I could get by is if I went commando in my jeans and wore my crocs to compensate for my lack of socks.

If I don’t do my laundry on the seventh day of every week I won’t go out. I can’t go out, I’ll have nothing clean enough, presentable enough to go out in. I have a scarce and limited wardrobe. If you saw me out twice you think I only own one pair of clothes, but I can assure you that if I’m out in them, they’re most certainly clean.

Both my underwear and socks have holes in them and I refuse to throw them out. Realistically I’ve had them all since high school. I have no intentions of getting rid of them anytime soon. I’d rather do my laundry every seventh day like clock work then to throw away my most reliable articles of clothing. And by reliable I mean the only pairs of clothes I’ve worn since I was sixteen years old.

Or maybe I’m just lazy or too cheap to care. I technically don’t need to replace them, I mean they still work and are in one piece for the most part. I think there’s still some life there.