I Remember My First Time

I know it’s hard to believe but once upon a time I was actually this straight edge kid. It’s kind of wild to think about considering the person I am now but it’s true. Back then I wouldn’t even think about huffing on that Devil’s Lettuce. Which is ironic considering how I don’t spend too many days without it.

It may sound crazy but I remember exactly where and when I popped my Mary Jane cherry. It was in the back of my buddy’s Tahoe. There was him of course and his best friend were in the front seat, then these two girls in the middle bucket seats, who were the only reason why I decided to make that my first time, and then me in the back. I was crushing on one of those girls hard back in the day and was looking for anyway to get her attention. There was no way I could say no. It felt like cupid was opening this door for me.

Fast forward ten years later and I’ve turned into a living version of Shaggy Rogers. That is if you replace Scooby Snacks with those Troli candy and you couldn’t tell the difference. You would think that ten years of hanging out in the basement of That’s 70 Show I would have quiet a resumé to know how to roll myself a joint.

Unfortunately that isn’t the case. I have no idea how to roll anything but a meatball. I haven’t smoked out of anything besides a piece of glass or a joint or blunt someone has rolled. When I started smoking everyone had already grown out of their “hiding it from their parents” phased and stop using apples or soda cans and started rolling their own shit to smoke.

When I came around to hop on that Mary J train, all my friends have already had their fair share of rides. I never had to know how to roll something myself. It wasn’t until today, after twenty seven year of walking this planet, after ten years of puffing on that doja, I have finally rolled my first joint. At least I call it a joint, I don’t care if it looks likes a twig. I rolled that shit, there’s years of determination, sweat, and tears that had gone into rolling my first joint and let me tell you it has finally paid off.

If you need a Jizzy from Trizzy feel free to hit me up. I’m doing the first one’s free but you have to order at least two. I can assure you they’re only getting better.

P.S. Needless to say it wasn’t that girl from my first smoke session who Cupid was making me fall in love with, it was Mary Jane herself.

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