I’ve had my fair share of dates through the years. I feel like they can all be simply placed place into two definitive categories; they’re either good dates or they’re either bad dates. At this point in my life it’s hard to say whether or not I’ve had more of one or the other, but either way they’ve all been moments that have led me here today.

In my days of dating I’ve learnt one thing for sure and that is that day dates never tend to end well. The only time they have ever worked out for me or in my experience is when you’re on a date with someone that you’re actually in a relationship with. And even then it’s not guaranteed that things are as serious as they seem.

For instance, I met this girl for drinks before she had to go meet her friends for dinner one day. It had been this girl I was crushing on back in the day and didn’t care if I met her for coffee first thing in the morning, I was around to meet her whenever she told me. We met locally for lunch, tossed back a few drinks, and hit it off better than I think either of us expected. The half hour she originally penciled me into her schedule turned into an hour and a half of us together. She pushed whatever plans she had later to keep the night on with me.

We took our date from the bar back to my place so we could enjoy every last second we had together. I didn’t know when she had to leave and I wasn’t going to bring it up. She was here and I was in no position to complain about what was going on. To this point in the afternoon our date has checked almost every box on the “good date” column off. The only box I had checked off on the “bad date” side was the fact that we had a day date.

I knew it was going to come to an end shortly with her other plans and I figured we had enough fun together that we would be able to do it again. Maybe in a more formal date matter than just meeting for a late brunch. There she was putting her clothes back on in my room as I lay under the covers asking her what her plans were for the rest of the night.

In a moment of weakness and vulnerability she slipped up and told me that she had dinner plans with her boyfriend in an hour. There were no friends she was pushing off to go meet… It was her significant other. She had no intentions of showering, no intentions of changing her clothes or adjusting her makeup, she was going from my bedroom straight to his and I felt terrible. This poor guy has no idea that when he goes to kiss his girl all over that night that he’s getting all of my sloppy seconds… fresh.

That was what solidified for me. you can never trust a day date. If it was a real date you would be going out with her friends or at night with her when people normally go out for dates.