The Meanest Place On Earth

Anyone who has ever worked on one of those big construction sites knows; Porta Johns are typically the grossest bathroom you will ever have to use. For those of you who have never used one, (damn you’re lucky) it’s a single toilet that doesn’t flush. It’s merely a holder for everyone’s feces to stack up on top of each others until it gets cleaned out in two weeks when they come back around. They are disgusting.

Something not everyone knows about Porta Johns is that they’re also one of the meanest spots on Earth. There are some guys who go in there to take a shit with their sharpies in hand, shitting there for twenty minutes with nothing else to do but anonymously speak the words they’ve always wanted to say about other people on the job site. Anonymously being the operative word. It’s the place people can say whatever they want without any repercussions.

Sometimes you get those closet racist that complain about some of the workers on the job. Other times you get these asshole kids that like to draw Swastika on the walls just to see what people have to say about it. There was this one job I was on where we a kept a tally of what men prefer, “Ass or Titties” (Ass won in case you were wondering) On job sites, a Porta John is essentially the place for people to express how they truly feel freely.

As for us electricians, we are the first guys on a job site and the last ones to leave. We’re there before anyone has a chance to write in the Porta John and there well after everyone has thrown their two cents in there. Being as we were the first ones on this new job site of ours, I figured I’d be proactive and get ahead of all this negative slander that usually fills a Porta John before it took off.

Being the first person to violate the shitter on this new job I took the time to compliment us, “Wow look at those electricians!” Encompassed by a hand drawn heart. It wasn’t anything crazy but it was honest. I mean you should see us, our whole crew was filled with studs. I be humble to start. I had to also say something that wasn’t as genuine or cliche. I wrote the first thing I thought of “Those electricians smell…” Something open ended for people to give us their own compliments. Something I

I didn’t write anything derogatory, there wasn’t anything insinuating about what I wrote. I kept it pg. Now we just have to wait and see if people can keep things on a lighter and more on the positive side with this Porta John. I just hope someone will catch my Spongebob reference and writes “good” at the end of what I wrote. That will be all the confirmation I need to say that we have some cool people on this job site.

Ps People who write in the Porta John don’t even know the different between you’re and your or there and they’re so please if there’s something offensive don’t take it literal. They’re just idiots… or they’re just someone like me with the grammar of a third grader.

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