When I ask you to picture a crossing guard what do you see? I’m sure you, just as everyone I have asked, pictures this old white hair lady somewhat resembling your grandmother or some cliche version of her. That’s exactly how I pictured them to be too. In fact that’s the only way I have ever seen them before. 

I have always assumed it was a job for some old geezer that wanted to piss off their kids by refusing to retire from work and settled for part time crossing guard. A fulfilling job nonetheless, one that anyone would want their grandmother to work. I was just unaware that you didn’t need to be over sixty five and retired to be a crossing guard.

This elementary school down the street from me had the first and only attractive girl crossing kids across the street. Maybe it was because she wasn’t an old lady stopping traffic for the kids to cross the street and was the first crossing attendant that made me look twice.

I had to scratch my eyes, look around, and make sure I wasn’t the only one seeing this. When I opened my eyes and saw nothing but Dads and older guys, cousins, or siblings picking up the kids from school. There wasn’t a single mom in sight. It was like this Twilight Zone where the wives stayed in the cars while the husbands went to school to get their kids.

Only this time they guys were taking their time at the pick up, letting their kids play on the playground with their friends until they were good and ready to go home. Pro tip, if you want the dads to be more present with the kids at school, hire a crossing guard that is covered in gray hair and that wears leggings. It seems to do the trick.