They say you fall in love three times in your life. The first one is that puppy love high school sweetheart kind, proceded by the hard love that teaches you all those harsh lessons, only to be concluded by that unexpected love, that real thing that you never thought you would ever find. What happens next? Like after you found those three loves?

Is it over for me? Have I walked away from the only three chances I’ll ever have in my life to find that real love? How many times can you walk away from that one thing that can make all of your dreams reality? Am I too self centered? Too Petty? Was it really love? Is there someone else I’m missing or did I miss my chance at finding that everlasting love?

Thinking about it now scares me. It keeps me awake at night thinking that I’ve blown my chance at finding it. I chase the thoughts running around in my head of me living my life alone with no one by my side sleeping in an empty bed. If that’s the karma I have coming for me for walking away from love then I get it. After what I’ve done it would be well deserved for me to spend my life alone.

If that was it for me, if that is all the love I will ever find in my life, at least I’ll be able to die a happy man. I gave it a try. I found love more than once. Not summer flings, or someone to call at night, I find that real thing and each time it has made me the happiest man in the world. Each time I’ve found it has made me a better man. If those are the only times I get to fall in love then I’ll be buried with a smile.

Love is the best drug out there. There isn’t anything that makes you feel rock bottom the way love does, and because of that, there isn’t anything that can take you higher, or make you feel more invincible then love. It’s because of love I’ve been able to find out what happiness truly means.

If these are the only three times I fall in love in my life, then it’s been a life worth living. It’s been a life full of smiles, laughs, tears, and moments I will never be able to forget. It’s because of those times I’ve loved I’m the man I am today. It’s only because of those time’s I fell in love I can die a happy man. At least I tired. “I’d rather have a life of ‘oh wells’ rather than ‘what if’s.’”