We’ve all been there once before in our lives. We all have a story about that one time we almost burnt down the house. Same as we all have that story about the time time we thought we only had to fart, when in reality, we tragically shit our pants instead. We all have those stories.

My story is no different that most of yours. The only difference was mine didn’t happen in a house. I was living in an apartment complex that consisted of about two hundred other apartments. One night while I was cooking dinner, I accidentally left the hot mitten in the stove… directly on the burners in the oven. It was a matter of seconds until the smell of smoke started filling my apartment. That’s when I looked over at the oven and could see a flame burning inside.

I frantically ran over and shut the stove off, filled up a bowl of water, and immediately dumped it on the flame inside the oven. When the water hit the flame it filled my entire apartment filled with smoke, set off all the smoke doctors in my place, and ironically scared the shit to of me. I shit you not I sharted my pants when I saw that flame through the glass. Never have I ever done anything so idiotic like that before.

The most unfortunate thing is that if the fire did spread, I wasn’t just going to burn down my pace, but the entire apartment complex. All I was trying to do was cooking myself some frozen dinosaur chicken and some fries and I damn near burnt the place down. If I may be honest, I haven’t cooked with my oven since. I am now one of those people who orders take out each night in fear of ever cooking again.