This is the first time they’ve been expecting snow since I’ve moved down here. I’m a Masshole through and through so their version of a storm is drastically different from mine. If it was going to snow a few inches overnight back home, we had to set our alarm clocks an hour earlier to give us enough time to clean off our cars and still get to work. Anything less than six inches isn’t going to make you happy and get you a snow day.

Down here, in the South, snow seems to be a much bigger deal. For the past two days all I’ve heard is people talking about this impending snow storm that is still, three days away. Everyones has been packing the grocery stores, emptying the shelves, and stocking up with as much meat, eggs, and toilet paper as if it’s the end of the world or something.

Back home if we were going to get slammed with a snow storm, you wouldn’t see lines packing the supermarkets and forming in the street like they do down here. If the weatherman, I guess meteorologist would be the correct term, predicted a storm back north, people up there would pack the packie to prepare for a snow day. No one went to the supermarket up there.

A snow day up north, where they plow and have salt trucks only last a day, if we’re lucky two days. Nonetheless we atlas have a day to get buck wild for no reason or stay on the couch and watch the entire Lord Of The Rings Trilogy because, “Fuck it we have time.” It takes almost fourteen inches for people up there to start filling the supermarket like a tin of sardines. If we’re only hit with a few inches or a foot of snow, we’ll be out there shoveling off our cars in the morning still hoping to make it to work on time.

Down here, even if they’re only predicating any sort of snow or icy mornings their entire world shuts down. Most of the people down here have never seen snow before so I guess I understand why things get so crazy. All it takes is for some Tony Tomato over at channel five to say it may snow sometime next week and people start filling the supermarket.

Which is fine by me because I eat like a twelve year old. Most supermarkets will never sell out of mac and cheese, cold cuts, peanut butter, and pop-tarts so I’ll always be able to find a meal when I’m there. It works out perfectly for me that everyone packs the supermarket. While they’re all there buying groceries for two months, I can do my shopping, hit the express lane with no wait, and be in and out of the market and ABC store before my show gets back from commercial. I love it when we get snow days down here. It’s honestly become the most efficient time for me to go shopping.