It’s Been A Nice Crutch

Apparently people down here think I have a wicked Boston accent. So much so that even when I show up to jobs it usually only takes about thirty seconds until someone asks me to say “car” followed by them inferring, “Ah I could tell you’re a Yankee.” (I guess it’s what the Southerners call anyone from New England) As I always do when people say that to me, I shut it down immediately by saying, “Actually no, I’m from Boston, so please don’t call me a Yankee.”

I’m a Bostonian through and through and I don’t care if you call people from New England Yankees, just don’t call me or anyone from Massachusetts a Yankee unless you’re looking to get punched in the face. Us Massholes despise everything there is about the Yankees and New York. We’re born and raised hating them, just as they are of us, the last thing I ever want is to be affiliated with those Yankees.

That was when I learnt a valuable lesson; with what they think I have of a Boston accent, I’m able to be as much of an asshole as I want without it ever being an issue. People would hear my “Yankee” or Boston accent and naturally assume I’m an asshole. I didn’t realize until recently how much power that gave me. I’m always out making jokes that tend to cross too many lines. I found myself being a Masshole out at the bars, being a complete dick, but somehow never upset anyone. Apparently I just fit their stereotype of us Northerners.

I had no idea how much of a safety blanket or a crutch my accent truly is for me. Do you know how wild it is to go out publicly and speak your mind freely? Like you can make whatever joke that may or may not cross a line, like the ones that don’t go over so well, and not be completely shunned for it? Evidently all it takes is the Yankee accent and you can be a complete douche without any repercussions. I don’t know if most people down here just have terrible experiences with us Northerners or if they just have accepted the fact that we’re total;y assholes, but evidently it’s no issue to them.

It’s miraculous that I’ve been able to keep myself out of fights considering how I can act sometimes. I just didn’t realize all the things I’ve been getting away with until now. This is a whole new world and I’m about to see how far I can push it. With whatever accent these people think I have I’m going to fulfill all the stereotypes they have on us Massholes.

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