I don’t believe in much. Hell I barely believe in myself, how could you expect me to believe in some higher power or any belief? All day long I’m second guessing my thoughts wondering if I’m doing the right thing. I wouldn’t even truss myself to hit a layup in basketball under any sort of pressure, that’s how little I believe in myself. I don’t have enough optimism in me to believe in anything.

I’ve heard people say that when we die we are reborn in our next life and our karma in our past life dictates the life we’ll live in the next one. If that’s true, I sure as shit hope to come back as a dog. Like I wouldn’t even be picky, I come back a mutt sure, a stray dog no problem, three kegs, I’ll adapt, any way you spin it I’ll find my way to a home. A loving home that will embrace me unconditionally for my cute little puppy eyes.

I know I’ve made it with my life when I come back around as a dog in my next life. Dogs live like kings and I’d find my way to a home that will treat me as such. They’d feed me when I ask, they’d take me out to the bathroom when I’m ready, they’d take me for just long enough walks so I could justify laying on the couch and sleeping all day.

Dogs live the best life. They get their belly rubbed if they cuddle up against any human being. They get treats for no damn reason at all and can sleep all damn day if they want too. They literally live Hakuna Matata and I envy it. I don’t know what I did wrong in my past life to end up as just the average guy I am now but I sure hope that when things come back around in the next life, I’ll be reborn as a dog.