Who Knows What Could Have Been?

The other night I was walking home from my bar a little more buzzed than I intended to be. It’s my own fault, I went right for the mixies that night instead of drinking my Bud Lights like I normally do. The bartender already had her hand in the cooler for me reaching for a Bud Light as I sat down at the bar and I shook my head no to her dismay. “It’s a mixie night.” Was all I said.

I proceeded to hangout at the bar, that night, shooting the shit with whoever sat next to me and enjoyed the beautiful summer night. Eventually it got to the point where I felt like I had enough, closed out my tab, stood up from my chair for the first time since I got there, and instantly felt the world spinning around me. I stumbled initially when I got to my feet, and somehow kept myself from falling on my face by quickly grabbing onto the chair next to me. I got back to my feet, took a deep breath to gather myself, and headed down the stairs on my way home.

I made it outside and was tempted to go into the bar next door with it’s music blasting and people talking and laughing to keep my night going but I knew I shouldn’t. I still had to get up for work the next day. I had to walk by it, there was no way I could avoid it. I knew walking by it would give me enough FOMO to go in but I told myself I wasn’t going in and committed to it. As I was passing by the bar on the outside, I was staring through the fence at the crowd and instantly locked eyes with this incredible beautiful dark haired girl inside.

I found myself stuck staring at her while she was staring right back at me. Neither one of us looked away, it was like we both refused to be the first one to look away, I don’t think either of us could look away. There was this glow in her eyes I was drawn to. I could see it in the way she was looking at me and I knew I had the same glow shining right back at her. For about twenty five steps, fifteen seconds, but felt like forever, we were staring at each other. It just wasn’t until our eye contact was about to be cut off by the end of the building, I laughed. It was the last thing she saw or heard me do before we lost sight of each other.

I laughed right in her face before I disappeared into the night. I guess I just thought the whole thing was funny, I mean that girl right there could have been my future wife, there’s no doubt that there was a connection between us. She may have been someone that I dated and only fell in love with. Someone else who stole a piece of my heart while pursuing their happiness. Who knows she very well could be my great white buffalo, the one I will now always be up thinking about. Or she may be absolutely nothing to me but some girl that was just staring at me through the fence of a bar.

I thought all the possibilities were hilarious. Who knows what could have been? There was an immediate connection between us and that was exactly why neither one of us could look away. Thinking about it now, if I was smooth, I should have just man’d up and went right into that bar and walked straight over to her table outside and asked her her name. That’s all I had to do and then I would be writing about the love of my life. Instead I’m writing about someone that shoulda woulda coulda all because I didn’t have the balls to go say hi. I guess we’ll never know now will we.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s