I Was Almost Someone’s Unicorn

I only stopped at the bar to grab myself a drink. The only reason why I stayed for dinner was because I was getting drunk and figured if I wanted to see eight o’clock that night, I had to at least give my body an assist and eat something. I just had no idea what a simple order of chicken fingers and fries could get you.

This older couple next to me, maybe in their fifties, heard my order and it somehow sparked something inside of them, enough for them to start talking to me. “Ahhh I’m a chicken fingers and fries guy myself too.” The guy wasn’t looking at me while he was talking but it was evident he was talking to me considering his wife or girlfriend was watching me waiting for my reaction. “You remember hunny don’t you?”

It had to be his wife. “I do…” she reached all the way around his head to grab his ear furthest from her and tugged on it, “I love when you feed me your fries.” They locked their eyes and were lost in their own world. I slugged a few sips of my drink to wrap my head around whatever the hell was going on and was hoping to be left alone. Which obviously didn’t happen.

“You know, you have such beautiful eyes let me see them and get a better look.” The girl who was just previously fingering this guys ear next to me, now had her ear waxed covered fingers all over my face and pulled me within inches of her face so she could see my eyes. “See aren’t his eyes beautiful.” she then held my face within inches of her husband’s for him to inspect.“He does wow, are your eyes hazel?”

And just like that they sucked me in, “They are, but sometimes they change to blue so honestly I don’t know what color they really are.”

“I love them.” the wife said as she stared into my eyes and took her hand from my face and rested it on her husband’s lap. Like in his crotch area.

“Me too, I’m kind of envious of them.” The husband then put his hand on my lap.

Before I could even react to his hand on my lap, before I could even gasp, before I could even pull it away, the wife looked me in the eyes and asked me, “Do you want to take your chicken fingers and fries back to our place?”

I was speechless. All I wanted to do was unwind after work with a couple cold ones and some chicken fingers. Somehow it’s transpired into me arousing the couple next to me enough into making it seem like I want to be their unicorn. I quickly closed out my tab, got my chicken fingers to go, and apologized to the nice couple next to me for forgetting I had a prior arrangement and I couldn’t hangout with them. But If I may be frank, I’ve been contemplating for the past four days or so now, I don’t think I could actually go through with being someone’s unicorn. In no way am I confident enough with myself to be swinging my joystick around in front of someone else’s.

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