I have terrible game, like zero game whatsoever. In no way do I know how to talk to girls or approach them in some sort of intriguing or attractive way. If I’m ever lucky enough to strike up conversation with a girl it’s probably because I accidentally bumped into them and spilt their drink. I find myself barely able to form a sentence with my mind races at a million miles per hour causing me to stutter my words, talk to fast, and ask way too many question before even give them a chance one of them. I’m horrible.
I only have one move in girls and I’m lucky it doesn’t get me into more trouble. I simply just staring at them long enough and hope for something to happen. I say something to happen because more often than not this move doesn’t work and I just look like a creep. Traditionally it ends up in a fight one way or another; either with the girl I was staring at all night cussing you out in front of the whole bar for staring at her and being weird, or you’ll find yourself squaring up with their boyfriend for staring at her and being weird. Either way is a loose loose situation.
Unfortunately it’s the only move I know and all I do when I’m out at a bar when I see someone that takes my breath away. I can’t help but stare at her and stare at her even longer when she catches me staring at her. I pretend to look away but always immediately find my eyes back to hers. Like I said, more often than not it tends to back fire, but very few times has it worked.
Very few times I’ve gotten lucky and stared at them long enough to the point they just come right over to me and call me out on it. Rarely does it work out, where they actually feel as attracted to me as I am to them and actually feel compelled to come and say to me, the creepy guy that has been staring at home for the past couple hours. At that point it’s on me to sustain conversation flirtatiously and not in any creepy manner that may raise some red flags. Which in all honestly has been my hardest part but if they make the move to start conversation it’s on me to keep it going.
If I ever get a chance to have the girl I’ve been staring at all night come up to me and talk to me, I swing for the fences. I pull out my best joke from my back pocket hoping to make them laugh. I then follow Adam Sandlers three rules from Grown Ups 2; I made her laugh, then I had to keep her laughing, and they I had to ask her out before she inevitably realizes I’m fugly.
In that moment when the girl I’ve been staring at all night approaches me I follow those rules verbatim. I make them laugh and make sure I keep them laughing and as soon as their laugh stops and they’re left with only a smile on their face I simply ask, “May I kiss you?” In the few times I’ve made it this far I’ve only heard no twice, just a few times less then I hear a yes. Each of those times were kind of an expected no but I figured I would ask anyway.
Last weekend it happened. I was staring at this girl all night, too scared to talk to her, just hoping she would walk past me or bump into me accidentally so I could be forced to talk to her. This went on for two hours, I was staring at her and she was staring back at me, neither of us could get ourselves to look away from each other nor could either of us make a move to actually say hi to one another.
As it started to get late and I was paying more attention to my friends rather than her, I looked up for one moment and lost her from my sights. She was no longer with the friends she came here with. When I noticed she was gone I quickly surveyed the bar looking for her. As I was finishing my whole three sixty surveillance of the room I saw her. She was only one group of friends away from me and when I finally found her she was already staring at me.
Since she had gone eighty percent of the way to meet me, I moved to the other side of our dance circle to be closer to her and do the next twenty percent. Both of our eyes were still locked onto one another. She said hi to me before I could even say hi to her. I asked her if she was as popular as she seemed talking to all these different groups of people here in the bar and her answered surprised me. She only just met these people she was with. She came over here just to come talk to me.
She left me speechless. Never have I ever stared at someone that did everything I wish I could do. I was admiring her beauty all night and in that moment I instantly became infatuated by the person she was while I was talking to her. We spent some time yelling in one another ear over the music,pretending to get to know each other until she ultimately had to go back to her friends.
But there was this connection between us that I was craving. Apparently she had felt the same thing. I was so starstruck I couldn’t pull out a joke or make her laugh or a smooth line to say to her on our way out. I knew it was time for me to go see her and somehow found all the words to say to her to get her number and another night with her. Before I could even say anything she asked me as I was leaving, “May I have a kiss.”
I grabbed her by her waist and pulled her in close enough to me so that my lips found hers. She stole my line. She used my line on me and I think in that moment I fell in love with her. She is the epitome of everything I wish I could be and I don’t think I could be anymore attractive to her. The way she made new friends just as an excuse to find her way over to talk to me was the craziest thing someones ever done to me. After kissing her in the middle of the bar for forty seconds (the most PDA I’ve ever had in my life) we exchanged numbers in hopes to see each other again. Right now, there isn’t anything in this world I want to do more than to hangout with her again.