That’s Embarrassing

I’ve had my fair share of embarrassing moments; I’ve been pantsed in public twice, I’ve been beaten up and put in a headlock at a bar by a girl before, and I can’t tell you how many times I went in for a kiss while the other person was going for a hug and failed miserably. I’ve had my fair share of embarrassing moments to say the least but none worse than what happened to me at the pool the other day.

We were all just sitting there in the low end of the pool, there were about six of us, half of us were in the pool and the other half including me were just sitting on the side of the pool with our feet in the water. I get cold wicked easily in the water so I pulled my legs out of the water to stay warm and sat on the side of the pool like I was practicing my cannonball form in the pool and that’s when they noticed.

Yeah they noticed first, well before I did which makes it significantly more embarrassing if you ask me rather than if I had at least known. I didn’t know it until that very moment that I had missed one single toe nail on my feet when I was cutting them last night. All nine of my other toes were cut perfectly and looked presentable to be seen in public except for one… my middle toe. Everyone instantly started laughing at me, a couple of our neighbors that were in groups next to us started joining in laughing along and all of a sudden I felt like I in the movie Something about Mary like that “beans above my frank” but instead of the entire town laughing at me, it was everyone in our apartment laughing at me for missing a toe nail.

It was traumatizing. My face turned beat red, and I couldn’t come up with any witty excuse as to why I left that toe nail long. Telling them that I wanted it to be long didn’t work, saying I was inebriated didn’t give me any slack, I didn’t even get any credit when I said I was doing it in the dark or for style there was no excuse to get me out of this. I just flat out forgot to cut one nail. I think I’m the only person ever to walk the face of this planet to ever forget to cut a single toe nail. In the wise words of Ari Gold, “Lay off the weed turtle.” Maybe that way I’ll remember to actually cut my toe nails.

It may seem like nothing but to me that’s been my most embarrassing moment. I feel like everyones been pantsed or has been beaten up by a girl or at least has messed up going in for a first kiss, we all have that in common. I’ve been there, we’ve all been there, I just feel like I’m the only one who’s ever forgot to cut a toenail. It’s like my claim to fame around the apartment like Orlando Brown in football or Tony Twist in hockey. Either way, like those two guys, I’ve forever found my claim to fame in my apartment complex as the guy that forgets to cut one of his toe nails.

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