T.O.T.T.

I didn’t want to go out that night. I woke up that morning thinking it was Friday and have been disappointed all day since. I had plenty of drinks in my fridge that were calling my name and kept me slouching in the couch. But when my friend told me to meet her at the bar for a couple drinks, I sprung from my couch to meet her. I quickly got dressed, brushed my teeth, and before I was on my way to her.

When I got there she was sitting at a table with her friend just outside the bar. The bar had people in it but was empty enough I was able to spot her right away. I sat at the chair next to her and directly across from her friend, so I would be closer to her. If I may be honest I would have much rather sat next to her friend on the other side so I could have spent the entire night staring into her elegant hazel eyes.

Not that sitting next to her was such a bad thing. I loved it. Her hand found a spot on my leg and only left when she had to cover her face laughing too hard. Which, if I must admit, when she was shining her brightest… smiling the way she does. In one smile she made going out worth it and even more so each time she would smile.

When the bartender came over asking me if I wanted a drink, shaking me back to reality from my day dream of her, I instinctively found myself ordering a vodka RedBull. My impulse totally neglected the fact that I had to work the next morning. A vodka Redbull kind of night will almost guarantee that you’re going to be missing your alarm in the morning. Apparently my mind didn’t care.

We ordered drinks after drinks while we were out, treating this Thursday like it was a Friday like I thought. I had no idea that this was in fact her Friday. That’s when I convinced myself it was Friday. So I began treating it as such by following her lead going shot for shot with her. It wasn’t until we met these three other guys at the bar until I started to really start binge drinking.

I mean I have been drinking perpetually all day, to call it binge drinking is a little downgrading to what I’ve been doing all day. That’s just a reference for when we all started taking my alcohol straight without any mixie or ice to water it down… on a Thursday. Each shot I took I could feel it putting hair on my chest slowly turning me more into a man. I’m not much of a shot guy but since they were paying for them I’ll take them. I’ve never been the type of person to turn down a drink nonetheless a free one.

The night was going perfectly, my friend had more than her hands on me and would periodically rest her head on my shoulder to remind me that she was there next to me as if her hand wasn’t enough. Two of the guys we met were content talking amongst themselves at the bar while their head honcho was flirting with my friend’s friend. Everything was fine and dandy until the dude’s friends got bored comparing dicks they came over to talk to my friend, the one that invited me out, while her hand was resting on my lap.

I knew I was out numbered. There were three guys up against me and the two girls if I could call them allies at this point. I could see the look in these sharks and saw they were thirsty for blood. I knew that I had to ride whatever wave they sent my way having to consider the numbers game. I knew all those free drinks would come at some cost. The price I had to pay was fighting off the two guys as they took turns hitting on the girl that invited me out.

I thought I smelt something fishy as soon as they bought us our first drink. These guys were good at their game, better than I thought they would be. The three of them seemed to master the art of picking up girls and I found myself impeding them from seducing these girls enough to take them home.

Like I said they were good, this definitely wasn’t their first rodeo. Their leader seemed to have the other girl on lock. As far as I could tell, these two pawns were fighting to win over the heart of the girl I was with. They each took turns, one of them would come up to me and strike up conversation only to distract me while the other guy would spit game to my friend. I will admit they fooled me once, but when they swapped rolls and the other guy came over to start conversation with me, I knew what they were trying to do.

I had to do it. It was the first time I’ve made a public display of affection since I was in high school. I ignored whatever distraction the guy was trying to talk to me and in the middle of the other guys opening line to my friend,I kissed her right on the lips. Silencing both of them and getting her arms around me pulling me in closer for another.

I felt like I could hang my hat on that night right there for being the one my friend chose to kiss. After all she did invite me out I kind of had a little of an advantage. I figured I should quit while I’m ahead and before all this alcohol hits me and I succumb to the spins, I told my friend that it was my time to go blaming work to leave early, quitting while I was on top.

That’s when I had to be the luckiest guy in the world. She not only decided to leave with me, leaving the other two guys high and dry in their tracks on the tracks, but she also invited me over. She said it was too late to go home now. She was right nor have I ever turned down an invitation to hangout with someone for one more drink, regardless if I have work in the morning.

Before I knew it we were in her apartment with our hands all over one another. Her skin was soft, her lips were even softer and I couldn’t pull myself away from her. I had to keep kissing her, I needed to keep touching her, because I couldn’t get enough of her. She was all mine and I was happily all hers. Until our pants came off.

Everything was perfect until she pulled my pants down. Between all the drinks and drugs that I had that night my blood was more concerned with flowing through my heart to keep me alive rather than my dick to make me sexually satisfied. Nothing we did could get my blood flowing to my joystick in between my legs and there isn’t anything more degrading that… to everyone involved.
There wasn’t anything she or I could do to fix this. We both stared at each other, in a moment of total disappointment and complete dissatisfaction because things didn’t go as perfectly as we expected. As we were lying there in her bed, with her head on my chest and my arm wrapped around her shoulders it hit me… the spins.

As soon as I closed my eyes it hit me like a kick to the shin. I instantly started sweating from every pore. I had to open my eyes and stare aimlessly at the ceiling, and put my foot on the ground out from under the bed sheets to feel something stationary to stop the world from spinning. All to no prevail. Not only could I not get myself to perform as a man, I now have pushed myself to the point where I won’t be able to sleep without having a trash barrel next to me.

I rolled myself out of bed, damn near falling on my face while doing it, scavenging to put on my jeans and t shirt stumbling all over the place. I couldn’t tell you what I said to my friend that night as I was leaving. I can only hope I wasn’t a complete asshole as I scurried out of there the way I did. I mean it was kind of like an asshole. But in all seriousness, I truly enjoyed her company, it’s just my ego and those guys that thought they could’ve “pick you up” got the best of me and I couldn’t hold myself together anymore. At least in someone else’s apartment. This was something I needed to deal with alone. I may have won the battle but it may have lost me the war.

It was something I had an hour and forty five minutes to deal with until I had to be at work the next day, I guess the same morning. I had set six different alarms that morning and missed all of them. I woke up two hours late to work, getting there as soon as I could while still half drunk and reeking of booze from the night before.

It felt like a Saturday to me, considering I endorsed yesterday as being my Friday to drink with my friend. I mean I thought it was Friday all day, someone should have told me otherwise. I showed up to work being more than just high on life. Lord knows how happy I would have been if I was actually able to spend the night with her. I’m just happy she would rather spend time with me than those forty year olds that were hitting on her and her friends. She did pick me.

I made it to work with only two hours off my pay. I made it through the entire day unable to pass a sobriety test and questioning every burp for a hiccup or a puke. It was miserable. I didn’t start to feel hungover until I got out of work at three in the afternoon and let me tell you it hit me like a sack of potatoes. I was a zombie the rest of the weekend.

PS I must have been a dick the way I rushed out of there because I haven’t heard from her since. It’s only been radio silence.

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