I spent my Saturday night wasting the night away with a friend. We went to a brewery so you already know we left their bloated, intoxicated, and inevitably spending the entirety of the next morning on the toilet battling the beer squirts. That is the main reason as to why I only drink IPA’s when the time is worth it.

I felt as though seeing her again this Saturday was worth it. Last time we hung out, it went far better than I imagined it to be. Someone how we never found ourselves in a dull moment. She had left an imprint on my mind for the next few days that I couldn’t stop thinking about. I had so much fun that last Saturday I couldn’t wait to see her again so we could pick up exactly where we left off.

Just like last Saturday we had a blast together. We were up all night spending time with each other. I couldn’t tell you when we fell asleep, but I do remember the sun wasn’t shinning yet. I woke up shortly after I passed out from a twitch at eighty thirty the next morning, feeling like absolute shit. My brain felt like it was pounding out of my head and my mouth was drier than the Sahara. Unfortunately my water was on the other side of her and I wouldn’t be able to reach it unless I climbed all over to get it.I was in no shape to do that, so just laid still staring at the ceiling.

She slept through my twitch, and my scrambled to find my phone, and was snoring like Snorlax, she was undoubtedly knocked the fuck out. Which kind of sucked because I woke up wide awake and couldn’t fall back to sleep. I’m never in bed past eight o’clock it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is. This was way too late for me to be in bed, I could feel my anxiety building with all the errands chores I’ve pushed off long enough that I had to do today and could feel the beer squirts brewing in my stomach. I had to wake her up. I had things I had to do.

The only thing I could think to do was to set my alarm and hoped it woke her up. I couldn’t set it for something random like eight forty seven or eight fifty, so I set it for nine o’clock on the dot and dicked around on my phone for a half hour until it was time for my alarm to sound. I pretend I wasn’t ready for it and “shook” myself awake again. This time harder than I twitched myself awake earlier, to ensure she woke up too.

She didn’t. So I made my way to the end of the and proceeded to get dressed putting my underwear on followed by each of my socks until she sprang up from my bed and I said, “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize the time. I have a flag football game this morning I completely forgot about.” A little white lie, yeah sure, but saying I had flag football was much simpler than explaining to her that I have to clean my bathroom I haven’t cleaned in a month, or that I have to go food shopping, do my laundry, wash my sheets, get material from the shop at work so I don’t have to get up so early tomorrow morning, those are the borings details that I felt like I could sum up with two simple and cooler words, flag football.

I guess I wasn’t totally a douchebag, while she was getting ready she told me that she was meeting her dad for lunch soon anyway. In a way I helped give her enough time to get home and get herself ready for her day. I felt bad making her get up the way I did, even worse when I walked back into my apartment and saw that the clocks spring ahead an hour while we were sleeping last night.

Here I was thinking I was a reasonable man for getting my day started at nine o’clock, respectively, on a Sunday. Turns out I was in fact a complete douche bag for kicking a friend out of my house so early in the morning for no reason. I feel like such an asshole now, I just hope she actually had plans with her dad and wasn’t just saying that to be nice. Considering I was kind of being a dick.