Another Time

I hate going on a first date with a girl and her friends. Let me preface it, this has nothing to do with the overwhelming pressure of meeting six girls for the first time, I embrace that hurdle, but it’s just difficult to build an intimate connection with someone you’re getting to know for the first out of the blue. Especially when you find yourself just as attracted to some of her friends as you are to her. I mean at that point, we’re all essentially meeting for the first time, who knows where your heart and intuition is going to lead you. It’s impossible to anticipate exactly how things would go. But every time, a girl invites me out with her friends I make sure they know they’re my priority. But it’s hard for me to stay interested when there isn’t that spark in my gut. Nor when her friends look at me the way they do.

There’s been a few times I’ve gone out to meet a girl on a first date and she’s brought her friends along. I admit though there have been a couple of times where I’ve gone out to meet someone on a date with her and her friends and spent the majority of the night thinking about their friend as I lay in bed alone that night. I emphasize thinking about them. I like to think I keep some sort of integrity and do my best to create an intimate connection with the girl that actually invited me out rather than try to slip away and talk to her friend. It’s difficult to have an intimate connection when there isn’t a spark between her and I. Sometimes I’ve spent the whole night wondering what it would be like if I was one more chair to the left, next to her friend.

Just the other day I ran into one of those friends I met while I was waiting for my date to show up at my bar. I had only met her, the once back when the girl I was supposed to have a date with, but decided to invite all her friends, and her smile stayed in my mind. As I was walking to the bar, I didn’t see her at all. Nor would I, I’m completely unaware of my surroundings while I’m in a bar. There’s only two things I’m aware of when I’m at the bar and if I’m lucky three things; Where the bar is to order a drink, where the bathroom is so I can empty the tank and grab another drink, and if I’m with someone where they are so I have someone to drink with. That’s it, everything else is a fugazzi to me.

That night when I was walking to the bar in my bar, she saw me walk past her. She slapped my arm, called out my name, and instantly had my uninvited attention. I remember her hazel eyes pulled me in just like they did the first night I had seen her. Even all bundled up for the cold in a winter coat and scarf she still looked incredible. I wouldn’t have noticed her if she didn’t say hi to me, but as soon as my eyes found hers I couldn’t pull them away from her. I was glad she said hi to me.

I initially came to the bar because I was planning to meet a girl, but I spent the first twenty minutes before the girl got there, talking to the girl with the blue eyes who I thought I would never see again. While I was talking to her I was hoping in the back of my mind that the girl that I was supposed to be meeting here would bail, or forgot her mask, or stood me up preventing her arrival, something. I wanted nothing more than to spend my night talking to the girl with hazel eyes.

It kind of sucks there’s no way for me to pursue her. She’s a friend of someone I once knew, it’d be douchey of me to message her online to grab drinks with me sometime. I had felt something that first time I was introduced to her, and it amplified when I saw her again at the bar. It’s just a shame that her and I can’t amount to anything. That is unless the stars align and pigs start to fly and I find myself at the same bar talking to her again. I won’t let that opportunity slip through my fingers again.

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