I can’t thank my parents enough for naming me Troy Tartarini. The hardest part I struggled with while I was leaning to spell my name was the one lowercase t in the middle of my last name. So whenever I sign my name or print it on any official legal documents it reads Troy TarTarini. I just couldn’t get myself to get behind devaluing a letter t in my name. I need my T’s to be strong.

My full name is rather on the long side thanks to my Italian last name, consisting of twelve letters. Thankfully I only had to remember seven letters from the alphabet, since our last name looks like it was put together with all your leftover scrabble pieces. T-R-O-Y. At least they had a y instead of an i. Troi would be weird.

Because of them, I was able to write that out my name before I even learned how to walk. By the time I got to pre school so much further along than everyone else, I was able to write my name, and in cursive, with my eyes closed, and even in Mandarin. But when it came time for me to write anything else at all, any of the other nineteen other letters in the alphabet, I would fail time and time again. I knew what I knew and that was my name. Maybe that’s why they made me do two years of pre school.

I’ve said it before and I’ll reiterate it again, I’m terrible with names. I honestly couldn’t tell you how to spell some of my friends’ names. Friends that I’ve known for years. I have maybe six friends named Mikael and not only do I not know how to spell Michele, I don’t even know how they spell theirs. Fortunately as a friend group we’ve diverted to calling them all by their last names or some sort of nickname so the name Michael and how they spell their own names is a complete enigma to me. Hell they may even be named Mike and I have no idea.

Then there’s Steven, or Stephen, or Stefan. I mean that’s almost as bad as Sean, Shaun, or Shawn. Like can’t you guys agree on a proper spelling of your names, so I can finally learn how to write all the letters of the alphabet. Since we’re talking about it, I have no clue how to spell the name Christofer. I never met one before in my life. I mean I’ve met a couple Christian’s, Christo;s, and Chris’s before but never have I ever met a Christofer.

I’m so beyond lucky that my parents were looking out for me from day one. They knew to give me an easy enough name I could memorize and write all over the walls growing up. A name that I was able to spell, write, and barely pronounce all the correct way. Troy, it’s been so easy to remember and I’m forever thankful having such an easy name to spell. I think I can write it in my sleep now. And it’s the only word I know I spell right. I can’t even get the i right in the middle of a sentence. I always forget that it needs to be capitalized.

One day I’ll be proficient with my spelling and grammar. As for pronouns, I can tell you now, that’s going to take some time