Everyone had a junk drawer in their kitchen. Growing up we called it the shit drawer. It was the top right draw on the desk in our kitchen. We had scrap pieces of paper for shopping list, we left pens in there since it was the closet to the landline, incase we needed to write down a numbers. There was even a pair of scissors because why not. We even kept a little directory that contained not only all of our relatives numbers and addresses but also all the passwords we needed to login into all of our accounts like the wifi, Verizon, and the computers. Very important stuff to leave in such a meaningless raw if you ask me. The rest of the void in the drawer was filled with elastic and paper clips that my brothers and I used to use shoot at each other with and one Texas Instrument calculator that we all raced home to use so we could do our homework.

Everyone I know has a junk drawer. Truth be told I don’t think I can trust someone who doesn’t have a shit drawer. It creeps me out, I feel like their hiding something, being so perfect, filling every cabinet in the kitchen with a purpose. Where do they keep their bills? All junk drawers are filled with insurance papers, bills, and batteries. If they’re cool, they may even have a deck of cards or uno tucked away under all their junk.

My brother and I happen to have two junk drawers. We have one filled with the things like all of our personal information, Massachusetts id’s, social security cards, our passports, and an envelope filled with cash in case we have to go on the run. If there is ever a fire, I’m pulling that drawer straight out of the kitchen and making a run for it. It has everything we need to exist in America.

Then we have our drug cabinet, which if you ask me, is the most important cabinet in our kitchen. It hangs just to the right of our stove, and it’s the last cabinet hanging above our counter. We took liberty in making that part of our island the mixing station, filling the bottom of our drug cabinet with some wine, whiskey, and vodka with an abundance of soda and seltzer to mix with. Then there was a top shelf of the cabinet. It was far to short to hold a bottle of alcohol, it’d barely even fit a Bud Light can, but it was the most valuable spot in our apartment.

It was filled with everything a denigrated is looking for. I kept my weed up there in a mason jar, we used it’s sent, instead of air fresheners, to fill our apartment. We kept a couple pack of cigarettes for when we drink to much and crave that nicotine flowing through our veins. We always had a couple tins that we would use as our escape during work before we indulged into everything else in the cabinet when we clocked out. Our cabinet was everything anyone would ever need to have a good time.

If you were to rob us you have two options, take us for all of our bank account and worth, which if I must be honesty truly isn’t much, and steal our drawer or you can raid our drug cabinet and make out like a bandit and have the time of your life. Your choice.