I Love Weddings

It was a perfect Sunday for a wedding. My two brothers, my cousin, and I all woke up in two hotel rooms, that we turned into one. It was one of those rooms thats had those adjoining doors. Fun Fact, I’m actually small enough to fit in between those two doors while they were shut completely. It was a wicked quick and an extremely scary moment considering I was leaving it up to my brothers on whether or not I was going to be let out or locked in here till they are done tormenting me.

Regardless we slept in that Sunday morning hungover and stuffed from the all the alcohol and all four tacos we all ate late the night before. No it may have been like three in the morning of today, the wedding day. Miraculously we all woke up at the same time. that morning. The day started as soon as we got up. I cracked a beer almost immediately when i woke up, since we it was the closets thing to water we had, while everyone was getting up and ready for the big day. We had a few hours to kill before the wedding so my brothers ran to the mall to buy a jersey for a little prank we had planned for the wedding, while my cousins and I got a bagel sandwiches and fed our minds before we had to take one of his test for work.

Fortunately the test was on some basic Electrical Code (I’m also an electrician so we banged the test out together) and were able to finish the fifteen questions in about ten minutes. We spent the next half hour slugging beers waiting for my brothers to get back so we could get ready for the church together before the wedding. It was a shock to all of us that we were actually invited to the church. Any one of us could burn up into flames with one step inside, so we had to make sure we were good and ready for church before we walked in.

My brother called me sometime after we finished the test and told us to head downstairs to help carry in the beers for the room. He said they had a surprise for my cousin and I. We were all already to start pregaming this wedding. We all loved to party and especially at weddings.

When my older brother came out of the car with a couple cases and my other brother came out with tow hands full of mixies for my cousin and I, thats when we knew it was time to start partying. He handed us our drinks simultaneously and with one sip it hit us immediately. It was the most aggrieve mixie I’ve ever drank. it consisted of two Four Lokos slushies mixed with a long island ice tea. It wasn’t even one o’clock yet and the four of us have all already crushed three beers each and now had our hands full with these mixies that would send any causal drinker straight to the bathroom for the night. These things were no joke.

We should not have been in the church that day. We were lucky none of us engulfed in flames when we walked in. We were all hammered when we got there. It was’t just a quick wedding ceremony like, you may kiss the bride and let’s party like we anticipated. It was a full Sunday service we found ourselves in and had sit through an entire hour long mass receiving the bread and all. Within the first few minutes of the ceremony, we were all texting each other wondering where the hell was the bathroom in this place. All of us had to hold in our pees through the entire hour of mass. On top of that, in the middle of mass, I nearly broke out singing with the priest like I was at a concert when he started to bless the bread. He started singing the words, “Holy…Holy…” and I swear to God I thought he was about to have the spotlight to shine down on him and start singing the biebs song. I was crying tears of joy doing everything I could to hold myself from not just laughing out loud but singing along with him as he was blessing the bread. The church couldn’t end quick enough for us, we didn’t belong in there.

Once mass ended we couldn’t get out of there fast enough. We had to wait patiently holding in our pisses as the wedding party left the church. When we could finally leave we all rushed to the bathroom to piss and somehow found four seats waiting for us on the first shuttle back to the hotels. I could only assume the Lord wanted to get us out of his sights as quickly as possible. We were drunk, we had empty bladders, and were hanging out the back of a bus, making a scene, eager to start celebrating. We kept doing the universal honk your horn sign in the back of the trolley on the way back. We were holding our arms like you do when you try to get those eighteen wheeler to beep, pumping our arms up and down praying for people to beep for us. For that short eight minute ride back to the hotel, we felt like the Kings of the town. Every car was beeping for us, all the pedestrians loved us, and one of us actually got a number out of it. We felt like celebrities leaving church on that shuttle.

For everyones sake, we were lucky the reception started immediately after the wedding. We went back to the hotel to put on our Patriots jerseys under our suit coats for all the Philly fans on the other side of the wedding. We took a moment at the hotel to slug a beer each and regroup before we headed over. We then proceeded to walk to the reception (which was the other hotel where everyone was) making conversation with all the people that recognized us from the shuttle ride. We gave our fair share of smiles, waves, and shit talk to those Eagles and Steelers fans that were heckling us along the way until we got to the reception.

It was another best case scenario for us worst case scenario for everyone else… the wedding was an open bar. It wasn’t just the four of us, although we may have lead the way, but everyone was drinking at an excessive rates. I wasn’t sure they were even doing everything, I was sweating so much on the dance floor it was probably leaking out through my pores as quickly as it came in. The dance floor that night was hot, it was almost too dangerous to let the kids out there with us to dance. The kids had to dance on the rug just outside the dance floor to ensure they were safe from all the drunk tomfoolery going on on the floor. And trust me there was plenty of it, at one point my brother ended up shirtless, my other brother got on the floor and did his classic inch worm move, and the bride and groom were both airborne at one point. Periodically we had to pause the dance floor for some broken glasses and so we could catch our breath before we started dancing again. It was more than what we expected, it was fucking amazing.

Then came the after party, who knows how everyone ended up back in our hotel room. I just remember I was sitting on the couch trying to keep the room from spinning when my brothers come in with a ton people into our rooms with some beer, others with some vodka, all ready to party. I sat up on the couch and prepared myself to get ready to keep going. I zoned out as soon as she walked in the room. She had barley taken three steps into the hotel room but those three steps were enough for me to be start craving her. She wore this crop that was painted on her, and had this pink dungaree coat that I swear she must have had it made specifically for her. She looked amazing that night and I have no idea how I didn’t see her at the wedding. I guess I was so caught up in dancing I didn’t notice anything.

She had everything I love, a nose ring, tattoos, a beautiful smile, and an attitude that was tough to crack. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with her and get to know her. I spent most of the time admiring her while I talked to one of her friends. While she was on the other side of the room I shared laughs with her friends telling stories and claiming we were far superior to everyone else because we had fang teeth. While it seemed like no one else did. When my fanged tooth partner was ready tot leave the girls I’ve been staring at was craving a cigarette at the same time. Her and I were going to walk her friend back to the other hotel. But when her friend left to go outside, I followed her out, and the girl I wanted to see was nowhere to be found. As much as I wanted to go back upstairs and spend the night with her, I couldn’t let her friend walk back alone while we’re in the middle of nowhere.

So I walked her back to the other hotel, where the reception was earlier, and jogged back to my hotel after saying goodbye hoping to catch the girl that has caught my eyes, before the night ends. Well I jogged for that and because I was kind of scared to walk back to my hotel alone…pus it was cold! When I got back to the room and I didn’t see her my stomach dropped. She was the only reason why I rushed back in the first place and it broke my heart she wasn’t there.

Maybe two minutes after I’ve been sitting lingering in the back, she came storming in through the front door. Instantly I started smiling again admiring her, although she wasn’t smiling anymore. She actually didn’t even look at me. She was mad at me and I had no idea why. All I know is it made me feel significantly better now that I could at least stare at her again, mad or not she was still beautiful. I tried talking to her, asking her what was wrong, but she just brushed me off, giving me the cold shoulder. Eventually I gave up and sat on the other side of the room defeated. It only took as long as it took for her to grab her bag and put her coat back on until she came over to me and asked if I wanted to go smoke a cigarette with her.

I jumped up from my chair, excitedly knowing this may be my only chance to get some alone time with her. Quickly I tossed on my sweatshirt, slid into my shoes, and followed her out the door to the elevator. We walked the same two blocks I just got back from walking, to the hotel she was staying at. We sat outside on the bench in front of the hotel each smoking a cigarette finally alone together, getting to know each other. Evidently she was mad at me because we didn’t wait for her to leave. I was following her friend I assumed that she wasn’t coming or something.

It wasn’t long before her aggression turned to passion and she invited me up to her room. We were up late that night wasting our time talking and kissing until we just passed out in the sheets together. I was worried I was going to sleep past my flight. I think I only got an hour of sleep that night, but, in all honesty I wouldn’t have cared if I missed my flight after the night I had with her. I would have loved to spend the next morning bedridden with her agreeing to never drink again. Instead I woke up in the morning, at the ass crack of dawn, and had to scurry out of her hotel room quietly making sure I didn’t make her up. I felt bad not saying bye to her but I knew if she woke up, I might not have left. I’m counting down the days until I can see her again. We had fun together and one night just doesn’t feel like enough.

I love Weddings. Theres just something in the air and everyone seems to have their biggest smiles on their faces. It’s a such beautiful time. It’s one of my favorite times.

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