My phone has been frozen on a picture of my ripped sock I took to send as a snap to a friend of mine that has the same problem as me. All my socks are ripped and evidently his was too. I couldn’t let him be ashamed of his ripped sock alone so I tried to send him mine while I was taking a shit to comfort him and let him know he wasn’t alone. As soon as my phone captured the picture it froze. My screen is frozen on the picture of my ripped socks with my pants around my feet while I sit on the porcelain throne.

It’s been about four hours now with a frozen phone and the imagine of my ripped sock is now engraved in my brain. At this point I could probably paint it perfectly from memory. I tried to hold down the buttons to factory reset my phone, I watched YouTube videos to make sure I was doing it the right way, and nothing happened. I wasted thirty minutes of my life holding those buttons on my phone over and over again thinking it was going to work. It didn’t clearly, and I was still stuck staring at that picture of my socks.

I’ve now looked at it long enough to start noticing all the other details in the back ground. Like how stained my floor is, I washed it a few weeks ago but clearly it needs to be washed again. Then there’s my rug that looks like it’s never been cleaned… which it hasn’t now I’m realizing. Evidently my bathroom’s disgusting.

I could only think of one thing to do and that was to run to the Apple store and hope they had a solution. I raced to the company truck I had and started driving off. Before I even left my lot my phone connected to the truck’s bluetooth and started blasting Lil Uzi right where I left off. It sill worked! I bumped Lil Uzi the whole way, not like I had a choice I couldn’t use my phone to change it, optimistic that this would be an easy fix for them at the store. I thought I’d be in and out.

When I got to the store inside the mall the line was out the door, as expected. Then I saw a sign that said appointment only and had to see if I was going to waste my time waiting in this line or not. Just as all the signs said it was appointment only, which was as simple to make as taking a picture of a QR code and confirming an appointment online. Only problem was I can’t use my phone. The lady had no solution and I gave up, called it quits, and started to head back to the truck. I stopped in Old Navy and made the trip worth it buying a fresh pair of jeans and a dope Spongebob shirt for thirty dollars. It was a steal if you ask me.

The only good thing about my phone was that it still works. I can still talk to Siri, she’s always been there for me, play music, and as I found out when I got back to my truck, I could still make phone calls. The only way I was able to make a call was by dialing the number on the dashboard. I immediately called my mom, mostly because it’s the only number I remember and since my contacts weren’t synched I had to dial her number.

I informed her that I wasn’t ignoring her, since we were talking earlier, and that my phone has been frozen for quite some time now. I spent a half hour talking on the phone with her hoping to get my phone to die. Since I can’t schedule an appointment I figure I kill the battery on my phone and hope that when it recharged it goes back to normal.

In the mean time I’ll be listening to the entirety of Lil Uzi Vert’s Discography until my phone dies. I was kind of into him before all this, but now that I’ve spent the last two hours blasting him through my headphones, he’s really grown on me. I think I’m a big Lil Uzi Vert fan now.

PS I tried the jeans on and hate them but the shirt is still dope as hell.