Bad Neighbors

It’s taken us almost a full year for my brother and I to finally meet our neighbors. We’ve gotten to know a few people in our hallway but never have we even seen our neighbors, at least I haven’t. When we’re sitting at the pool I find it funny, it literally could be anyone of them and I have no idea. One day we went to the pool, we saw our friend from across the hall in 231 talking to a couple. We figured we’d injected ourselves into their circle saying hello to our friend on our way over.

My brother must have recognized the couple from before because he was looking at them funny with his head tilted and asked, “Wait are you guys 238, I think we’re your neighbors?” We halted conversation and took that moment to formally introduce ourselves to one them. I wish I could remember their names now honestly. We made some small talk in the pool and got to know each other and what brought us here, that kind of stuff. As soon as conversation slowed down my brother took responsibility and apologized for all the times we were too loud or had our tv blasting.

Just as my brother did, they came out and apologized for the same thing. They had a dog, the husband practiced his bass, and their tv was right where my brothers head lays when he sleeps at night. They felt terrible when they heard his layout and worried that they had their tv. My brother assured them that it was no issue at all, “I’m usually pass right out when I go in there don’t worry.” Then he paused for a second and thought to himself. “Wait a second, I have to apologize, were you guys home a last weekend?”

Instantly they started bursting out laughing. I missed the joke my brother had to fill the rest of us in. “Last weekend I had this girl over…” He began to explain, “I had no idea she was gonna be so loud. I’m so sorry did you guys hear that?”

“We weren’t going to say anything unless you brought it up.” The wife was still giggling as she was speaking.

“I wasn’t sure if she was enjoying herself or if she was being murdered to be honest. I wasn’t sure if I needed to call the police.” The husband chimed in and got us all to laugh. “I looked at my wife and said to her, ‘It’s on.’” The husband had all of us falling over laughing.

“Like that scene from Forgetting Sarah Marshal, when they’re in adjacent hotel rooms.” The husband instantly got the reference and turned around to let out his laugh. My brothers are wicked quick with movie references, far better than I am. That scene fits the situation perfectly, none of us couldn’t stop laughing. My stomach was starting to hurt, it hasn’t worked out like this since high school.

“Do I bother you guys at all?” I wondered if I was an issue at all. Sometimes I play music or leave High School Musical running all night. Their bedroom is right behind my walls. I always tried to be considerate of my neighbors and did my best to keep quiet when I had guest. I even started pulling my bed away from the wall so it wouldn’t be banging up against it.

“Just your cologne.” The husband confused me initially, “We can smell it everyday at five in the morning and all afternoon into the night when you get home from work I assume.”

“I’m so sorry.” I knew exactly what he was talking about. I felt terrible, like it was worse than a noise compliant. I’m tarnishing their air with all my second hand smoke. We aren’t even suppose to smoke inside, the last thing I wanted to do was upset my neighbors and get in trouble because of the smell coming from my bathroom. They both laughed about it and assured me that it was no issue. It seemed like truthfully didn’t care but I was appalled with my actions. I didn’t realize it would affect them.

“I guess we’re the bad neighbors.” My brother broke the silence getting us all again to share in a laugh. Here we are thinking we’re doing so good, keeping quiet, and not being a disturbance to our neighbors we had no idea we were the issue. We’re exactly why there a thing called quiet time in our complex. I’m way there’s no smoking inside. My brother can fix his noise issue no problem, but for me it’s a drastic change. I’d dreading smoking outside. Maybe I’ll just make a Sploof so I can stay in my bathroom.

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