There isn’t many things more embarrassing than being wrong about the door, especially in front of a crowd. It doesn’t matter if you push when you pull or if you pull when you should push, it’s awkward as soon as the door clanks and notifies everyone that you’re wrong. I can’t tell you how many time I’ve walked into a door thinking it was a push. Although my brother walked through a screen door, which is way more embarrassing if you ask me.

It makes the most sense to have push to exit doors in offices and larger occupancy buildings. I mean God forbid there’s ever a fire or something and every one was running towards the door ,imagine they all had to stop and get the whole building to go back toward the fire so they can pull the door open. It seems logical that it would be a push to exit right. I think about those times back in school when we would stare at the second hand on the clock waiting for it to push the minute arm to 2:30 so we could leave. We would all be lined up at the door so eager to go we couldn’t even open the door causing a cluster fuck from all of us trying to get out at once. I wonder, do they even still have analog clocks in schools?

Then there’s houses, who’s doors if you haven’t noticed, you push in to enter, and have to pull it open to leave. Opposite of what would seem practical right. Wrong, notice how police are always kicking in doors. If you look at the frame your door sits in, theres two halves. The middle of the wood keeps the door from going the opposite way. House doors are hinged on the inside of the divider so it can be push to go in. Again God forbid you mess up and you have the police at your door with a S.W.A.T. team and a search warrant, you can bet your ass they’re kicking that door in. I wonder if residential construction mandates the doors to be that way, as opposed to what the high occupancy buildings have to do, so the cops can kick it in.

Now before I approach any door I look up at it’s frame. I’m looking at these things while I’m waiting in line they make me so nervous. Then when I get closer I can confirm whether it’s a push or pull by seeing if the door has a handle or a bar. A handle means pull, those flat bars mean push. I’ve walked in to way to many doors, spilt some of the hottest hot chocolate on myself, as a victim from these notorious doors. I’m sick of it. I take every precaution now before I walk to any door.

Don’t even get me started on escalators.